Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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