idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i now understand why vodka
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
