ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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