I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize