thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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