she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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