My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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