that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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