What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
