It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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