The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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