I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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