i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize