shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
