No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
love makes seman taste better
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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