i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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