So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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