Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
