The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He called his prostate his "boner button".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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