you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
