I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
