i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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