he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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