He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
