She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
