I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
