the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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