are you so shy because you have an std?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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