when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
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