i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
