Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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