I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
