Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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