My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
