last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
