and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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