Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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