I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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