They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
