very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
