your parents love me but you hate me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
