Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
