they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
