I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
