Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
