We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she looked like the before picture.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
