To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
