me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize