you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
