I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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