I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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