stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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