I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
