His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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