i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
