is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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