That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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