Where did you get a picture of my penis
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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