I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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