she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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