He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
