Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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