how can u be prego again
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
