Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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