I love black thongs
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
