the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
