i was born a porn star she said
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize