i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
