Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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