The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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