we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my poor anus
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
