i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
