Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
