Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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